We often talk about stress and burnout caused by our professional life. But for many parents, their home base is not a place where they are able to rest and recharge their batteries. Dealing with an endless to-do list, an enormous mental load and wanting to be a great parent can take its toll on anyone – and if not prevented, it can develop into chronic stress and eventually a burn out.
The term “parental burnout” is relatively new, but research shows that this is a growing issue, which is impacting parents globally, and especially in the US and Europe. Expats are particularly vulnerable to parental burnout, as they often have demanding jobs, no support from family in their everyday life, and are less aware of which support are offered in their local communities.
For expats, there can also be an additional pressure of parenting expectations from different cultures: the culture of the country you live in, your partner’s culture, your own culture. The intensifying parenting norms in Euro-American countries can lead to emotional and parental exhaustion – as parents are trying to embody the ideal parent.
Symptoms of parental burnout:
Constant fatigue, emotional distance from your child, emotional exhaustion, hopelessness, detachment, catastrophic thoughts, anxious rumination, social isolation, feeling trapped, feeling fed up with being a parent, feeling overwhelmed, feeling parental guilt.
What can you do?
When you are feeling overwhelmed by tasks and exhausted, taking the time for yourself to recharge and relax can seem impossible – so although prioritizing your own physical and mental wellbeing would make everything else feel more manageable, you often get stuck in a vicious cycle, where the more tired and overwhelmed you become, the harder is seems to break the cycle.
Here's some things you can try:
1. Make it a habit to do something good for yourself every day (e.g. taking a relaxing bath, calling a good friend to chat, go for a walk, do a meditation, exercise, take a nap).
2. Practice self-compassion, talk to yourself in a caring way. E.g. “I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough”, “I’m a good mom/dad, and no one expects me to be perfect”, “I made a mistake, but I’m still learning and that’s okay”, “I deserve a break sometimes”. Remember; practicing self-compassion is an important life skill for yourself, and also something important to teach your children.
3. Realize that It’s not selfish to prioritize your own needs. Selfcare benefits the whole family, because when you’re in a better place mentally and physically - it makes you a better parent and partner. So if you ever feel guilty for prioritizing yourself, just remember that it's a win-win for everyone.
4. Talk to someone. Be aware of the symptoms of burnout and don't ignore them. Make sure to talk to your partner, your friends and/or get help from a counsellor.
Get Support
If you want to get support in order to prevent and deal with parental burnout, I offer a 5-step program, to help you become a more confident and happier parent and person.
The first conversation will be on the phone, free and non-binding.
Send me an email at info@worldsapartcounseling.com
Comments